I am crushed, like life, I am weak, like death.
I speak from inside the mind, yet never escaping.
Darkness resides with me and dreams of light.
Light that I cannot give.
Where does my road end and how do I get there?
Am I forever to be burdened with the torture of existence?
Someone show me a door. The image of the future.
I need to know what's ahead.
I need to know if it's all worth it or if I am doomed after all.
I cannot drag a blade across my arm and gain relief.
I haven't the opportunity to recreate with recreational drugs.
Smoking isn't an option.
Where's my relief?
Where's my expulsion of exhaust fumes?
Where can I release this pressure that cripples me?
This pressure, crushing me.
I will never be released or forgiven.
I cannot forgive myself, so how can anyone else?
Dreams of impalement come to mind.
The little mind I have left.
What is there to do, but be crushed?
Crushed by this pressure...

((Dedicated to me... I will not have control of my body for a while, so I'm going to try to release some of this anger, hate, fear, despise, self-pity, loneliness and horror that has built up in me over the years... Oh, by the way... This is what my head keeps inside and doesn't want to tell anyone 'cause they'll fucking take pity on me and I never fucking asked for that, did I?))