Middle of the Mind

Opportunity, make some, rule myself, must become more than I am. Why? Because I'm not as good as I should be, or is it I'm not as good as I can be? Does it matter? Will I take the advice? No. Change, I'm tired of change. Stop moving. Sit. Continue on through life, seems endless though. Pain stopping me to do things. Like what? Like love. True. Never mind. Carry on. Keep going no matter how hard it gets. Must succeed. Can't fail. Why? Cause I don't want to turn out like them. Them who? Those who think they're so good to kill, so good to steal. You want to be the law? No. You want to be God? Yeah. You know you can't. I know. I'll try though. Hope. Must keep hope. Hope isn't enough, must find something to move the pain from my eyes. Sick of feeling the entire burden. 17 tonnes on my back. Too heavy. It's getting hard to move, hard to live. Sick of feeling like the world has me crushed like one of the bugs I see dead in the street. Do I see? Do you? I don't know. I see. I feel. What is it though? Can you feel a noise? Can you hear a touch? Yes. Why do we differentiate? Should we? No. We sense a touch, we sense a noise. Keep feeling, they say. Who say? Them. The same them? Yeah. Them. They hate me and I hate them, but they're everywhere. They're after me, out to get me and kill me by destroying everything I hold dear. Paranoia is just another problem. Never mind. Sibling rivalry. No. Touchy? Yes. Ok. Joke. Why do women always say they want a guy with a good sense of humour? So untrue. Kevin Costner and Ken Dodd at the bar. The women have the choice of Robin Hood or Robin the Taxman. Jokes bore. No good. Old. What am I like now? What will I be like when I'm old? Why can't I predict the future? Is it just me or is my mind confused? Am I talking to myself now or am I analysing the thought of talking to myself? Confused? Yes. Ever thought of being Russian? No. Why? Not born there. Switch. But why has my mind switched subject? How many subjects have I gone through? I have to stop. Get to my room. Have to sleep. Slow down the mind. Dream. What do I dream about? It's become hard to keep my eyes closed. Got to sleep. Got to stop the thoughts. Inspiration too much. To hard to bear. Take pills. Drink water. Feel affect. Less things running. Mind slowing. Mind stopping. Almost dead. Gone..................