Inhuman

All of you who read this work think that it is written by a human like you. But I am not like you. I am not human. I have feeling and emotion and have all the human traits except some. But these rare few that are missing come from my genetic coding. The basic instincts of self-preservation and destruction of my own kind have gone. Years I spent fighting against these. I slowly became more recessive and vulnerable. Time and time again I refused to fight. I forced myself to hold my anger so that I couldn't be called 'human'. For years longer I slowly convinced myself that I wanted to die and that life was not worth living simply because I had to call myself 'human'.

The end result was almost as horrific as the raw materials. I felt so detached. I hated the world simply because I was the only one. There were none as resilient, reserved and emotionless as me. I was colder than the glaciers of the arctic. Insult me, humour me, love me, I couldn't care. I was immune. There was no way to break this shell that had encapsulated me so well. An armour so strong that the finest blade formed from the strongest element couldn't pierce the density.

After the initial shock, I gradually grew used to the thing I had become. Now I had time and point of view to look at the world as an outsider. I was disgusted. I couldn't believe the horror of the human race. What a waste it was. A species dedicated to the slow eradication of itself, all the while, spreading hatred across the globe. Slowly, I watch them tear life apart in the name of expansion. This was hell. How was I supposed to watch one species slowly ruin its own life source? I pleaded and tried to show them the errors of their ways, but the species also had an instinct that didn't realise I'd removed, that fought against my attempts.

If a human believes it is right, it will disregard any shred of logic and try to combat them just so it can prove that its standpoint is right, even if it is completely wrong. So stubborn and ignorant. I couldn't believe this lack of simple logic.

As a result, I realised that it would be a waste of my precious time and effort trying to make these creatures see that they are slowly destroying the one thing they needed. So I resigned to my fate, awaiting death, just so I could escape this evil place that stank so pungently of blood that the infecting feeling it caused reached to the depths of what one could call a soul. I could get by knowing I wasn't a part of this race or a hand in their destruction of their life-source and own kind. But fate can be ironic and it isn't restricted to the human species. Even fate had a card for me. An ace of spades that etched its mark on my mind, of which, I still have the scar as a memory.

And what a card it was. A perfectly shaped and focused card. A direct hit to the remains of the black heart I had designed for my self, simply shattering a hole in the armour, that had taken me years to slowly burn and forge, by a sharp shooting archer with acid tips.

'She' walked into my life by sheer chance... or divine intervention. The only other. The only replica of me. The female of my species. I couldn't believe it. How? How was it possible that there was another that had managed to change herself in such a deep and genetic way that her own strain mimicked mine? So many logical ideas sprung to mind. The creation of a new species by simple evolution. This was a challenge. However, as a man of logic and very little feeling, if these ideas were to be possible, one would have to be with her, and so, I talked to her as a friend, not realising the sub-conscious effect she was having on me.

A few days passed, and a feeling awoke in me. I didn't know exactly where, but something was stirring within the blackened cocoon. It tingled and seemed to make my body run at higher speeds.  Slowly it grew and spread across my body. The more we talked, the faster it grew, leaving me almost scared of the result, never knowing what it was to feel.

Then it came, and I knew. I knew what she'd done. It was too late to go back. It would be almost impossible to repair the damage. The feeling had grew so large, but had been constricted under the armour. Slowly, it grew in density and pressure, like a gas pipe trapped at the end. The pressure was building and I slowly felt heavier and slow, but the pain... Oh the pain... The aching was almost too much to bear. I felt cold and lonely, as if I were so far from the world, that I couldn't even see the simple shape of the huge continents. Then it happened.

Impossible... So impossible.. The armour cracked slightly, and by the time that I'd noticed, the feeling was escaping. Then without warning, the pain had been lifted, but with something else that I held more dear. She had cracked and completely shattered and blown apart my armour. now I felt vulnerable, just like I did while I was building the armour, but I was at the very beginning. No scraps of metal to start. But something even more strange happened.

I didn't care. I wasn't bothered that half of my lifetimes work had been destroyed, because I finally knew what the feeling was. I knew what had built like a pressure cooker on my armour. It was love... Of all things for a heartless and distant man... It was the one thing that could only be described as impossible to have for such a man.

At first, I was scared and fought back, but I quickly new that this was my destiny. To continue this new species and hope that natural evolution would save the human race in time before they destroyed my essence-flow as well as theirs.

I am still inhuman. I can't change my genetic code again. It is far too hard and time consuming. But now, instead of rejecting the human race as a lost cause and a hopeless effort, I now see the possibility for redemption. If I can be created from such a species, then maybe hope still holds a flame, and maybe fate will play the game and help. But time shall see, and I will still watch and criticise, but this time, it's constructive.

Maybe, one day, through our own will, we will all evolve past this 'human' phase and decide to create a better world for everyone and everything. Time will tell... But let's just hope it will happen soon.